Mt. Tambourine Trip approaches

Heading up the mountain tomorrow arvo to go to YNET Youth/Kids Leaders Conference to further our skills in working with young people in churches, leading small groups and helping them grow in maturity and in their love for Christ in their formative years.

Super keen to get away from the hecticness of medical science for a long weekend and into the freshness of Mt. Tambourine to learn some seriously awesome skills and grow in my own love for my Saviour. It’s always good to get away from the busyness sometimes and get some time to reflect, catchup with old friends and make new ones. It’ll be a good time for me to take a re-stock of the year and prepare myself for the term’s worth of youth leading but also 5 more weeks of uni for the semester. Semester 1 is flying by SO fast!

Can you feel how fast this semester has been? Insane!

Hopefully I’ll come back refreshed – but it’s a camp, so chances are I’ll come back a little wrecked, but a good kind of wrecked – an accomplished kind of wrecked.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Psalms 139:14

Q&A Who am I?

Recently I received a reply on a post from a reader. Here it is in paraphrased form:

Hey…I really liked your post on the blind leading the blind. Admittedly I am not religious so I only read the first half but I resonated with the idea of blind leading blind but also talking the talk but not walking the walk. I often don’t do the things I advise my friends. In other situations I give relationship advice like an Agony Aunt but have very limited experience and confidence in relationships/trust myself. I was wondering how you think someone like myself could become firmer in their identity without a Christian directive in their lives?

Man it has taken me way too long to reply to you. For that I am really sorry – it has been a crazy couple of weeks and I have wanted to think about this properly. Even now as I write I am writing in a break between two labs because I need thinking space outside of BSA and Cytochrome C and gel electrophoresis and PCR and well yeah science life. I do have a few thoughts – but I will preface everything by letting you know that I am by no means an expert on anything and as always all I can share is my own experiences which obviously has heaps of bias. I just hope that through the lens of my experiences and life there will be some things that resound with you.

It’s so true that it’s so easy for us to not do the things we advise to our friends. Personally I would think that this is not always a bad thing. Often in situations we will give advice because we are a third party uninvolved in the situation and so we see clearly and can give advice more rationally. Also I often find that often we will give advice based on what we did badly in the past – and that’s a good thing. When it comes down to the nitty gritty though, I would prefer to be the friend who listens rather than the friends who comes up with the perfect solution if I haven’t actually experienced what they are going through myself. This is certainly hard. When we have friends going through stuff our first response will usually be to try and provide a solution. But you see with friendship, nearly all the time the best thing we can do is simply being able to listen and listen with care. It’s actually super ok to be like – yeah I don’t have the answer to this but I’ll think about it. Even though I’m not completely consistent with this, I try to only give advice based on things I have been through or know for myself based on interactions I have had with other people. Otherwise it’s useless giving empty advice. In the worst case scenario it can leave us looking like a hypocrite.

However as alluded to above, a large part of how we grow, mature and learn about the world isn’t actually necessarily a direct correlation to the things we go through and experience personally. If we invest in friendships and other people, we learn heaps through vicariously living their lives, seeing their point of view and walking in their shoes simply due to proximity. For example if someone hasn’t been through a breakup personally but has been there for two best friends who have been through it, chances are that person will know how to deal with breakups and give advice in a pretty mature manner because they have vicariously lived through it themselves. Again it’s all predicated on the manner in which we interact and the way in which we keep our closest friends close to us. If we stay distant then yes we aren’t going to learn from our friends’ experiences. However if we choose to invest, then ironically we grow ourselves.

Here’s the segue into identity.

In that last idea lies an important part of growing in and becoming firm in our identity. Ultimately I believe becoming firm in our identity stems not from retreating into ourselves and becoming a monk but rather by reaching out and forming connections with people, seeing how they do life, experiencing what they experience and then finding correlation with what we do ourselves. In this way we discover who we are, what we like, how we behave and react and how we think. Self-awareness isn’t born out of retreating into ourselves. Self-awareness is born out of putting ourselves in situations – often uncomfortable situations – and seeing how we react and act in those places that are unfamiliar to us. We realize what our worldview is by comprehending what the worldview of society is around us – what our friends think – and then comparing it to what we think and finding either links or differences.

In building this self-awareness, the biggest part of strengthening our identity actually comes about as a result of becoming more aware of who we are. You see when we grow our self-awareness we begin to comprehend what we want to do in life, where we want to go and how this ties everything in life together and gives us purpose and meaning. This is where identity takes shape. It’s rare at this point in our lives to truly strengthen our identity to this point – and that is completely fine. It takes time. However, when this happens, suddenly we are no longer giving empty advice or empty words to our friends. Everything thing we say and everything we do at that point comes from a place of understanding ourselves and where we want to go in life. In understanding ourselves we better understand others; by comprehending how we think and react, we can apply this to other people and put ourselves in their shoes to try and figure out how they think. From this knowledge we can than give advice and make decisions.

You see, becoming firm in our identity really is comprised of two things in my opinion: self-awareness and a knowledge of our direction or purpose or mission – whatever you want to call it. If we see everything we do in life as disconnected things that happen randomly and we aren’t moving actively towards a goal, then we can never truly reach self-awareness or find a sense of direction. Again from personal experience, the reason why I have this kind of purpose is because of my faith. It’s because I know that everything I do in life is tied to a purpose of glorifying God and making him known in this life. That means I am completely firm and secure in my identity. Yes sometimes that gets shaken because we are human; I can often become unsure and unsettled because I can lose focus. But I always find my track again because my faith is a constant.

Personally I believe my identity in God is firm because of this faith; we can try and find direction and purpose in other things like people, or a career path, or in having a family, or finding a romantic partner but ultimately these things AREN’T constant and so if something happens to any of these things then our whole identity is shaken.

Ultimately for me it is this faith which allows me to remain strong in who I am – in Christ. And that is my own personal experience of growing in my own identity. Sorry if this isn’t the end answer that you wanted – as I said I can only share my own experience of life. If you want a different answer or you think there is a different way – you might be right. I’m just totally not qualified to answer or think about that!

Good luck with everything!

To get in touch with any thoughts shoot me a message at: continuallyconvicted@gmail.com

Investing – no matter what the harvest

To invest in people is to open yourself up to a new level of highs and lows. Highs are amplified. Lows are amplified.

To invest in people is to open yourself up to incredible joy but also potentially equally as crippling sadness and slumps.

When you just focus on yourself and don’t place time and effort into other people, then the only person who can hurt you – the only person who can get to you is yourself. You can only disappoint yourself. No-one else can. Equally no one else can enter your life and be an encouragement and shine joy into your life because you just don’t put yourself out there in that way.

However when you do put yourself out there, then you place the ability to cut you where it most hurts into the hands of your friends. It’s a big deal. You open yourself up to feel their disappointments, notice their sadness and it starts to affect you too because you let yourself care. In the same way, when you see their happiness it radiates outwards and it fills you and you get to experience the world in a way that simply isn’t possible when you’re alone.

I often ask myself the question – why do we invest in people? Why do we bother taking an interest in others and becoming involved with their highs and their lows. So often the mind-shattering lows of being invested in so many people can absolutely cripple. And if everyone takes a low simultaneously, then you get hit by a metaphorical train and you can’t do anything for days.

I’m not entirely sure why we involve ourselves with people and care about them. All I know is that I do it. I do it all the time. And it’s a rollercoaster. Sometimes I wish I could block everything and everyone out and just find a stillness but I know that’d be impossible because it’s not me.

I also know that ultimately my calling IS to care. 1 Corinthians  13:4-8 puts it this way:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

This isn’t the ‘eros’ love as the Greeks would put it – it can be – but the point of this verse points to the reality of ‘philia’, a love that transcends physicality, appearance and flaws and loves without holding back. Love in this verse is personified; it is so powerful that it is characterised as an entity. And wow what an entity.

When we most open ourselves up for hurt when we invest in others is when we expect anything in return whether consciously or unconsciously. The point of the 1 Corinthians verse highlights the fact that ‘philia’ love is not self-seeking whether consciously or unconsciously. It is a love that genuinely seeks the best for others without any agenda, without subconsciously internalising thought patterns that steer us towards expecting an outcome that we want or that causes us to want things to turn out the way we play it out in our heads.

So when we realise that we are getting hurt in friendship we have to take a step back and ask ourselves the question, “Am I expecting anything at all? Do I have a picture in my head of how I want things to play out?”. If the answer is yes to either of these questions then my friends we are doing it all wrong. Our love is becoming self-seeking.

We shouldn’t invest in people and expect the harvest to turn out the way we envisaged it. When we sow the seed we have no control over how the plants are going to turn out. But that shouldn’t stop us from tending to the plant, watering it and caring for it as it grows.

Yes it’s often easier to not care.

But to care means to follow a greater calling.

It means we grow. It means that we get to experience life in oil pastels and not faded watercolour.

 

To get in touch with any thoughts shoot me a message at: continuallyconvicted@gmail.com

Being better at keeping each other on track

(aka. Being a good communicator Part 2)

I think we can often be bad at the real talk.

I mean when it comes to going HEY WHAT’S UP and all the other superficial social niceties that we do on a daily and weekly basis, we’re usually pretty good at it. Don’t get me wrong – these kinds of conversation are the bread and butter of socialising and its great. However, in order to truly care we need to go beyond this.

One of the most frequent things we will ask people when we see them is, ‘How are you going?’ This is absolutely fantastic. It shows interest and it gets a conversation going. If you’re genuinely invested in someone as a friend, it is important to you know how they are travelling in life. For those 5 minute quick interactions, going only skin-deep in a reply is probably necessary; we can’t go having d&m’s every time we see someone.

However every now and then we need to go a little deeper.

You see, the knee-jerk response to the question ‘how are you going’ is to reply with things. We will usually default to telling the person stuff we are doing, or stuff we have done recently.

Here’s a classic conversation:

Person A: “How are you going!”

Person B: “I’m good! I’ve been super busy recently, just finished an exam last week and now it’s catchup time for assignments.”

Person A: “Yeah I feel you! Busy time hey?”

Person B: “Yep. Looking forward to a break.”

Etc. Etc. Etc.

You see how in this interaction we are remaining firmly fixed in the superficial stuff. Person A didn’t really answer the question

If we think about it, we are missing the point of the original question. Person A didn’t really answer the question. They replied with STUFF that they are doing when the question was not asking about what they are doing but HOW they are doing. So maybe our response to that question should actually be, how am I feeling about these things. And if we are Person B and we get a superficial reply, if that friend is close enough, why not ask a follow-up question, ‘How are you feeling about XYZ’ to get a real insight into what’s going on.

So maybe the conversation could go like this:

Person A: “How are you going!”

Person B: “I’m good! I’ve been super busy recently, just finished an exam last week and now it’s catch up time for assignments.”

Person A: “Man yeah that’s rough. How are you feeling about it all? Managing?”

Person B: “Well it’s been really tough recently… OR “Yeah it’s going ok. But…

Etc. Etc.

You see how in that simple change we can shift the direction of the conversation to show that we really care? In a course like medical science or medicine where we are stuck in one of the most intensive if not THE most intensive university course known to humankind, it’s utterly vital that we keep each other accountable and get to the heart of what’s going on in each others’ lives.

And this goes for all of life – not just for us medical science students. In friendships, in relationships, in our conversations, let’s get to the real talk.

Let’s make it the norm that when someone asks us how we are going, that we really answer and not gloss over the question with a remark on stuff.

 

To get in touch with any thoughts shoot me a message at: continuallyconvicted@gmail.com

Finding ourselves to find others? Find Jesus first.

We are blind and we try to lead the blind. It’s so stupid. But we do it all the time.

One of the things about us as humans is that we gravitate to those people who are similar to us. When we meet someone, one of the first things that we do is try and find common ground, similar interests, and shared passions. We do this because we like to have friends who are interested in what we are interested in and are able to share in those passions.

(Co-incidentally – on a separate point, what’s even more amazing is if we can be close friends with people who are completely different to us and don’t share our passions and interests. This requires a great deal more empathy, genuine interest, and effort but it is definitely possible. This is definitely a separate idea that needs a separate post!)

Anyway, let’s get back to our propensity to seek out and befriend people who are similar to us. Finding shared interests and passions is only one facet of what we do when we form friendships. What we often do simultaneously, is gravitate towards those people who share in our weaknesses and strengths because we see those things so clearly in them. Why? Because we can see the same weaknesses and strengths in ourselves. The strengths part is fine. It can be really great to have healthy competition where we can improve in our strengths by vibing and bouncing ideas off a person with similar talents. Where it can get messy is with our weaknesses.

You see when we befriend someone, we become invested in them over time whether we like it or not. We begin to share in their highs and lows; we feel sad in their sad moments and feel happy in their happy times. We begin to become attuned to their state of mind. We can tell if they are having a bad day, or a super awesome one. Above all, if we truly care and allow ourselves to care, we become invested in the potential we see in them. If we let ourselves, the best kind of friend we can be is a friend who seeks to bring out the best in our friends. So in this state of mind, we clearly see the weaknesses in them that we also share and we try our best to help them. We attempt to enable them to overcome their weaknesses, to rise above their challenges and to become the person we can see they could be.

It is here that we run into a hitch. There’s an elephant in the room so to speak. The glaringly obvious question is this:

“How can we help another person’s issue if we haven’t sorted out that issue in ourselves first”.

It’s like trying to fight a fire without knowing that water is the solution.

It’s like trying to drive a car without knowing that you need petrol to make it run.

It’s like trying to lead the blind while being blind ourselves.

It sounds silly. Yet we do it all the time.

In this situation, we offer advice that we don’t follow ourselves. We offer wisdom that we don’t actually believe. We encourage without being encouraged ourselves. We are trying to do the impossible; we are attempting to problem solve without problem-solving on our own terms first and in our own lives first.

If we are blind, we cannot possibly lead the blind. And if we think about it, every issue someone has in life with themselves or with people pretty much stems from a lack of understanding themselves or others which co-incidentally stems from not knowing ourselves fully and completely. If we know ourselves completely, then our empathy would be such that we would be able to reach out to anyone in our lives appropriately. So the question we must ask ourselves is: how do we see ourselves and others clearly so that we can help others see too? Or perhaps in a simpler way:

“How can we become firm and sure of our own identity so we can reach out and help others to become firm in theirs?”

You see, when we are trying to help others, many of us will resort to four feel-good ideas in order to try and build up other people. I termed this propensity, SEPL; this helpful acronym refers to Self-help, Enthusiasm, Positivity, and Love. Looking at that list, doesn’t it all seem so fantastic?

Self-help seems synonymous with empowerment. It stands for taking control of our lives and making a future for ourselves. Enthusiasm and Positivity seem to be qualities that make life better and give us happiness. Love is said to be the most powerful of human emotions and the cover-all of many ills. And so with these four things in mind, we can so often try and offer this brand of support to our friends and for a while, all seems good. Maybe we see them grow in who they are for a time. Maybe they become a better person for a while. But all too often we see it all come crumbling down when reality, struggles and conflict kick in. In trying to offer the same sort of support, we begin to realise how hollow it all begins to sound when we try again to help from our own human standpoint.

And why is this? Well it’s simply because we don’t and cannot believe these ‘good’ qualities for ourselves ALL of the time. We offer support in a hollow fashion because we know deep down that enthusiasm and positivity isn’t a constant and cannot be kept up at all times. Love so often waxes and wanes with our emotions. Ultimately we can only help ourselves to a finite extent because we know that for the big stuff in life – like a medical condition from birth or a mental illness – we need to seek a professional, someone who knows what they are doing and knows how to fix our problem.

Solving issues of identity and figuring out who we are is a big thing.

Don’t get me wrong. The four qualities I listed before are great things. But offering them as a comprehensive solution is like trying to apply a tiny band-aid to a gaping foot-wide wound when it comes to solving issues of identity, or self-awareness or character.

So let’s get back to the most important question:

“How can we become firm and sure of our own identity so we can reach out and help others to become firm in theirs?”

Well we clearly don’t do it in the way in which everyone would tell us to do it. We shouldn’t try to do it our own way and attempt to problem solve ourselves towards a state of perfection. That’s like having a medical condition and ignoring the doctor and saying, “I’ll be right” when we clearly need help. We need to seek the professional who knows us better than we know ourselves – the individual who comprehends exactly who we are because he made us.

That’s Jesus.

You see, Jesus is the son of God and what he did 2000 years ago was to change history forever. He came to earth as a human being – both God and man in the same person – and walked among us for a time. He experienced what we experience. He lived our lives. He saw and went through the same struggles that we go through. In fact, he went through the biggest identity struggle of all. His identity, his very purpose for existing was to take on every wrong-doing, every sin of every human being who ever existed and to take the punishment of death that we deserved out of his great love for us. Yet at the crucial point, Jesus went through crisis and pain as the purpose of his existence was about to become manifest. In that moment, the night before he went to the cross to die, he fell to his knees and cried these words to his Father in heaven:

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

As a human being, Jesus grappled with the reality of death, the reality of his coming suffering and the reality of being cut off from God with the weight of humanity’s sin on his shoulders. That’s why he cries out in reflection, ‘take this cup from me’, or more simply, ‘God, take away this responsibility to die from me’. Yet in his perfection as the man who was also God, Jesus immediately and fully accepts his purpose and identity in that moment, submitting to his Father with the words essentially, ‘Not what I want but what you want God.’ He knew that God’s plan of redemption, to defeat sin once and for all was perfect. Jesus is the most well-equipped to deal with our self-doubts because he knows what it is to be human, to go through doubt and to experience the same emotions we do and yet to end up being completely sure in his purpose and identity.

Isn’t this a perfect model for our own lives? When we are struck by doubts, when we are unsure of who we are, shouldn’t our response be a recognition that God’s plan is perfect and that his love is absolute despite our weakness. In our case, God’s plan IS perfect. He loved us completely and absolutely and always will; this is a love that no human being can hope to match in our wildest dreams. He loved us so much that he sent his only Son to deal with our sin once and for all. When we accept this love for ourselves, not only are we made perfectly right with God, but we also loved in a way that is unconditional and eternal. If we allow this love to transform us, it creates in us a new identity that is grounded in a knowledge of worth that is not influenced by anything. Slowly, slowly, if we let Him work in our lives, we will begin to develop a true sense of confidence that is not based on anything of this world. This is because Jesus’ love for us is despite everything. It is DESPITE the fact that we stuff up. It is DESPITE the fact that we may not match up to society’s expectations. It is DESPITE the fact that we might not live up to the standards we set for ourselves.

We are broken, yet forgiven and loved. And that is the most beautiful thing.

In this unshakeable identity based on the forgiveness and unconditional love of Jesus, we are able to offer this same hope to those people who are in our lives. We don’t need to offer cliches that by comparison sound empty and changeable; phrases like, “You’ll be fine”, or “All you need is positivity!” or “Just be true to yourself.” We can offer them a forgiveness and love that reaches them right wherever they are in life.

And it gets even better.

When we are loved by God, that love fills us so absolutely that it has nowhere to go but outwards; in our actions, our words and in our lives. What we do becomes a reflection of God’s love. Yes we still love imperfectly at times because we are human. But there is a massive difference. Our empathy is based off a knowledge of human weakness and a knowledge of a clear and perfect solution in Jesus. And in this way, our love becomes for all people, not just the ones we would normally get along with. No longer are we bound by our propensity to form friendships purely based off commonalities and shared weaknesses and strengths. We actually become whoever we need to become in order to share Jesus most effectively.

Paul, one of the apostles in the Bible puts it this way in 1 Corinthians 9:20-23:

To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law…To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Here, Paul repeats the word ‘become’ and lists a lot of the common situations people found themselves in at that time as they went through their crises. Paul’s empathy is such that he is willing to do what it takes and to get on the same level as those around him, in order to help them find their identity in Christ.

So getting back to the point of this post. How can we invest in our friendships and help those who have similar or identical weaknesses to us? It’s rather simple. We find our identity in Jesus and allow Him transform us; we allow Him to fill us with a worth that is based on his unconditional love for us. As we go through this, his love overcomes our weaknesses. We know we are loved regardless of our weaknesses. As we grow in our knowledge and understanding of Him we have the incredible privilege of sharing this love that we have with our friends and those closest to us both directly and also in the way we interact with them and share advice.

Ultimately this knowledge and acceptance of Jesus’ love for us WILL change us forever. But we won’t forget what it is to be without his love. That will remain with us and it will enable us to connect with our friends who are without this love and meet them where they are at – like Paul did in his time. If we truly care about our friends, let’s find our identity in Jesus and share that identity with them in how we do life.

The blind can’t lead the blind.

Jesus healed the blind and he can certainly open our eyes. When we can see, we will be able to lead the blind towards that love opened us up to a truth that has the power to transform someone forever.

 

To get in touch with any thoughts shoot me a message at: continuallyconvicted@gmail.com

 

Being a good communicator Part One

Good communication is so important in any context. Whether in a professional context or in friendships & relationships with those we care about, being able to communicate effectively means that there is less chance of misunderstanding and less chance of offending people. It also just makes for healthy interactions. If we can listen and talk well, we easily hold each other accountable and encourage each other well. Perhaps what is even more important is awareness of how we communicate and areas that we are good at and areas that we could improve on.

Today I felt convinced of a need to share a bit of what I have realised about good communication. This is part one of a series in which I hope to delve into the details of what in my opinion are the important parts of being a good communicator.

Being a good communicator is comprised of two very important parts – listening and sharing. Listening is probably one of the most important things we can do in any context. Good listening involves us taking a genuine interest in what the other person is saying. It is often very easy for us to not actively listen; we can tend to ‘listen to reply’ and try formulating what we are going to say next as the person talks. Get rid of that! Next time you talk to someone try focussing wholeheartedly on what they are saying. When they have finished speaking take a pause, ask for clarification if needed and then reply. It’s really easy to get caught up in this mentality that we need to answer right away – when this simply isn’t the case.

Body language is also key to being a good listener. If you are standing there with your hands in your pockets or worse still, folded against your chest, you can very easily give off the vibe that you are standoffish or unapproachable without you actually intending it. Good eye contact, a relaxed body posture that is open and inviting is key to making the other person feel empathised with and listened to. Ultimately listening is important because it enables us to care for others; there are so many times when people simply want to be listened to and we don’t always need to offer a golden egg of mindblowing wisdom. Often just being there and offering that empathy is enough.

However in communicating well, being a good listener isn’t enough. We also need to consider what it means to speak well. Taking the scenario from before, if we listen well and yet have no response or no ideas to bounce back, communication very quickly falls flat. It’s actually very ok to talk about yourself or offer your thoughts and/or opinions when you are talking to someone. That’s what it means to communicate. It is a sharing of each other’s viewpoints and mindsets. Don’t be afraid to share a bit of your mind. People are amazingly accepting and happy to hear of another person’s view and it’s actually what the majority of people want.

In order to speak well when you are having a conversation with someone keep two aspects in mind beforehand. Firstly, we need to view our own thoughts as valid, important and worth listening to. This requires a certain degree of self-confidence and an understanding that our experiences and our lives give us a unique and valuable take on the world and on situations. Why do we connect with people? Because we enjoy hanging around them, listening to them talk about stuff, having fun with them and honestly if we think about it, we do value their opinions more than other random people – because they ARE our friends.

Second we need to be comfortable with and know ourselves well enough that we are ok to share a bit of ourselves with a people or a chunk of ourselves if that person is a close friend. Communication is all about sharing. With listening, we have an insight into another person’s head. It’s only fair that if someone is sharing with you and you value them as a friend, that you trust them enough to offer them the same privilege of insight into a bit of your own mind.

Without these two vital facets – listening & sharing – communication is very difficult and if we only focus on one aspect, any conversation becomes a very one-sided thing. Different people will struggle with different facets. For someone who is very outgoing and extroverted, listening might be more difficult than sharing because such a person needs to suppress their instinct to blab on about themselves and their day forever so that they can show the other person they are interested in them. For someone who is maybe quieter, it is easier to empathise and listen; sharing themselves is something they would struggle with more.

Knowing these two facets of communication will hopefully make us more self-aware when we are talking to people, enabling us to be better listeners and speakers. Why don’t we give this a go this week and catch up with one of our friends with this in mind? Let’s aim to be better communicators in our interactions!

It is important to remember however that if you’re thinking about these things, or you have nerves when meeting new people, remember you DO NOT have full responsibility for how the conversation goes. We have great conversations and great hangouts and we will equally have awkward ones too. And that’s totally ok!

 

To get in touch with any thoughts shoot me a message at: continuallyconvicted@gmail.com

 

 

Speaking in confidence

Ahhh gossip. It rules the conversation of teenagers and young adults alike…

I like many of you am so guilty of this and it’s something I have been trying actively to be better at. It’s just so easy to do. Who doesn’t love the thrill of sharing information we have been entrusted with.

Is it so hard to ask someone directly for information or their thoughts on something we have been thinking about? What is holding us back?

If people want to know something, we really should just ask the person in question directly – why try and deduce things from other people? And if we receive information from someone about someone, it doesn’t matter whether we have the closest friend ever, we shouldn’t go on and share with them what we have just learnt unless we have asked the original person if it’s ok. Trust is granted to those who know the importance of respecting someone enough to keep what they have told you to yourself.

Otherwise, we end up with a conglomeration of tangled information; second hand and passed down often with the wrong intentions and phrased differently to the original and BAM a massive mess is created where no-one knows who knows what and no-one is being directly clear with anyone.

Unless someone specifically tells us it’s ok to share what we have learnt, assume that it’s not ok! This is not keeping secrets. This about respect at its most fundamental level.

Welcome to 21st-century teenage and young adult communication and friendship groups!

#funtimes #whatislife #alwayshappens

 

To get in touch with any thoughts shoot me a message at: continuallyconvicted@gmail.com

#findthesilence

One of the best things we can do is find silence.

Find the silence. Technology crowds out space for reflection.

I won’t make this one of those annoying ‘we hate technology it’s ruining everything’ rants because they aren’t entirely true and they’re getting old.

However, I WILL reflect about reflection!

So much of our conversation as the young adults of a new generation – generation Z – is often so meaningless and pointless. Yes, small talk is important, but if it is a constant babble of look at the new girl, or who’s got the hots for who, or the new car that came out, then where is the time for real talk on the world, on injustice and on conflicts and issues around the globe.

We need to take the time to put our phones and devices down for a while. Have you wondered why people have become so uncomfortable with silence? It’s because we’ve become used to a constant flow of information, updates and pictures – silence has become deafening, even abnormal. The irony as we’ve become so called more ‘connected’ with what’s going on, we have simultaneously lost connection with our mind, our hearts and what our convictions truly are. Silence is good. Silence means we can reflect.

We need to take the time to consider what’s going on in the world. Looking on the island that is Australia there are refugees at our borders seeking help, massive health gaps still existing within our Indigenous population and all the while costs are rising while the economy faces a little-known but growing economic crisis.

Looking beyond our borders, massive issues face us as a species; from the threat of terrorism and USA’s involvement in the Middle East to the questionable policies of multiple regimes in Europe and Asia.

If someone asked you for your opinion on any of these large scale matters would you be able to give your point of view clearly and coming from a place of consideration and reflection? We need to begin taking our head out of the petty matters of the now and taking a stand on things which matter to us. It’s not enough to answer with, “I don’t know” or worse still “I don’t care”. We for the first time have all the information we want at our fingertips. With a click of a button, we can become acquainted with nearly all the going on’s in the world. As a generation, we should take note and be able to provide an answer for where we stand on the decisions of governments around the world and on the major issues facing countries around the globe.

You see what I did there? I referred to issues generally – globe, countries, world – they’re such abstract concepts. However when it comes down to it, every decision and every conflict affects someone; it affects the lives, happiness and future of a human being. It’s nearly impossible to imagine what it would be like to live in a country where being of a certain religion means the threat of death, where you literally have no country and need to seek refuge anywhere but where you once called home or when you have lost a brother or a sister to the ‘collateral’ damage of a bomb in a conflict that isn’t yours, that was never yours.

Yet this is the daily reality for millions.

We need to think of conflicts at the level of the human being if we are ever to find a way to address them.

Turn off your device now and sit back for five minutes and think. Form an opinion. And most importantly don’t be shy to talk about your views and to bring up these kinds of things in conversation.

But to get there we first need to find the silence to reflect and to find out where we stand on matters which are meaningful and relevant.

#findthesilence

#usetechforgood

Back to the Gold Coast, back to the grind

Mid-semester breaks are way too short!

Spending a week with family in Melbourne was the best time ever. It was a time to refresh and unwind, to be spoiled to bits and to re-connect relationally with loved ones. It was a time to visit nature. It was a time to sit back and reflect on life.

Now that grace period is over and us medical science students are back to it, studying for assessments coming out of our ears and trying to stay on top of lectures, labs and notes. The hecticness is back – hecticness is in for this year.

Staying on the Gold Coast for seven months straight will be my longest period away from home ever. Winter semester beckons and the light at the end of the tunnel is the December break at the end of the year.

In exactly 8 months the crazy ride that is the Bachelor of Medical science will be over.